HIgh School People

There is a great song "High School Never Ends" that makes me laugh.  It was on the radio a lot two years ago when I drove back and forth from Fredricksburg several times between Thanksgiving and Christmas to check on my suicidal sister.

Anyway - last night was an unofficial Highs School reunion night - everybody in for the Holidays got together at Paul's Deli for drinks anytime after 7 PM.  It is funny to me.  I vaguely remember High School and I have pretty much avoided going back to "hang out" because there haven't been too many people I want to "hang out" with.  Lucky for me, enter Facebook, and I can now reconnect with people who either were interesting but not people I saw much then or are interesting now.  So I went.

We arrived fairly early by Paul's standards and did a breeze through.  I saw nobody I recognized off the bat and I hate that whole, stand in a bar and look around thing.  I always feel like I have a neon sign flashing over my head "looser" if I don't immediately see somebody I recognize.  So we found a table and grabbed a "hot holly" {famous sandwich you really need to try} and waited.

Eventually people came in.  SAP Geek saw a local I'll call Mouse at a table behind me.  So I got up to say hi to her and ask about her family and the business and the baby.  The baby was there so she sent me off to see her.  Baby was with Papa, Papa's common-law wife and Mouse's husband.  Mouse's husband has seen me around enough to know who I am, Papa used to date my mother maybe eight years ago, and Papa's common-law wife I'd yet to bump into.  But I said "hello" and gushed over the baby.  Papa being a true southern gentleman asked about my siblings and about my mother.  Later on he {Papa} stopped by our table to say hello to my husband.

Hippie Chick's husband came in.  I asked him where his wife was and he pointed her out.  Went and said hey.  Hippie Chick and I were friends in High School.  She was one of two people I was actually hoping to see.  At some point she introduced me to her brother-in-law who is one of my high school heros.  No way!  So I sat down and talked to him.  Luckily I was spared having to explain who the heck I was, he remembered me,  but he didn't remember being in class together:

I moved here sophomore year and my last class of the day was with him, "Mohawk" and "Music Man."  They sat together and cut up  the whole hour and I just spent the time laughing.  I loved being in that class with those guys; they were hysterically funny.  

I learned a lot from him, High School Hero.  Stuff I'd forgotten.  Stuff I need to remember in dealing with my son.  It is okay to cut up.  It is okay to spend the day in the hallway.  Maybe you even fail a class.  

It is your life.  

I need to let go of my need to "make" my kids do and be.  They will do and be what they will do and be and that is okay.  I adored him.  Granted, he doesn't live a life my parents or my husband's parents would call "successful."  But he is happy with it.  Isn't that success?

Tolkien

I first read the Lord of the Rings trilogy when I was about 12.  I was fascinated by the elves and dwarves and Strider was my first hero.  In fact, Strider was my only hero for a long time, the teen-bot superstars my  friends were swooning over just didn't cut it when compared to the Ranger from the North.  

When the movies first came out, what 8 years ago or so, I wouldn't watch them.  The posters and advertisements were red flags.  What was with the girl?  There was no girl!  Why did the guy in posters look 19?  Strider was NOT 19!  I was so irritated.  My younger sister had gone with her boyfriend and said it was awesome.  She went again with my mom and again said it was awesome.  After her third time seeing the movie she called me and told me I should really just go.  I told her she didn't understand, I would never get over it if they had ruined Strider.

Okay, my apologies to Viggo Mortensen.

I finally did go that Christmas.

I was thrilled.

They got it.  They got Tolkien, they got hobbits and wizards and elves and dwarves and most importantly they hit Strider on the mark.  I was so excited.  Better yet my husband liked it too.  It is now tradition to watch all three every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This year SAP - Geek learned one of the guys at work hadn't seen the movies.  In fact, the guy was kind of holding out because at this point everybody is asking, how have you NOT seen these movies?  So he has watched movie one and two with us thus far.  

He has told me I am a major geek for being obsessed with this.  Tolkien is geek?  Seriously?  I thought it was English professors, tweed jackets over cardigans and pipes by the fire... that is geek?  This makes me laugh.

AWOL

I cannot believe we are half way through December and I have been away!  yikes.  Did you miss me?  Hah!  

Let me catch up -

I decided 2 weeks ago to start maintaining a blog for hubby's company.  He - hubby - can't be bothered - they never update the website.  Most of the website info is two years old!  And he won't twitter either despite my frequent requests that he try.  And so... despite the fact that he is SAP Geek and I don't speak geek I appointed myself the official pr person and blogger/twitter-er.  Since I started his blog feed burner has counted over 40 "unique hits" and since I only put the counter on last Friday I am feeling fairly okay about that.  In fact - not bad really.  

So to maintain my anonymity I am not sharing the blog with you but know that  posted 5 times last week, and twice so far tis week, and I've been all over twitter n attempt to help with "branding"

In other news my baby sister is in town this week.  I am to spend the day catching up on laundry so it won't drive me nuts and this evening she and I will bake Christmas cookies.  Yay us!

I am worn out!

for Tiffiney

Tiffiney is my one dedicated reader to my little "secret" blog. And I m delighted she has picked me up because she 'gets' me in a big way.
So Tiffiney I want you to know that I truly appreciate all your comments; especially in regards to my funky mood the other day. You are right. He drives me nuts, but he is mine. The small ones drive me crazy but what on earth would I do without each and everyone of them. Thanks for your kind words.
As to the pregnancy thing... I took a test that was negative and then took one in the AM that was negative... which meant not to much as I have had false negatives in the past. But then I started my period the next day. So it is safe to assume I am not pregnant. Which, right now, is a good thing!
If you are not Tiffiney and you've stumbled across this blog I would encourage you to hop on over and take a look. She writes fun, light hearted good stuff. Check it out.

Its been...

I just counted. It has been 10 weeks since my last period. I am trying to convince myself that it is because I ran out of my hormone cream I have been using for about a year and so I'm just all messed up. I mentioned it to my husband the other night and the idiot is excited. I am not ready to talk about it in the "real world" but I am kind of obsessing right now.
Oh my.

yesterday I was facebooking and I had seen a High School friend talking about another High School friend to someone (if you know both people then you get to see what they say on public places like "the wall"0 and anyway. K.K. (yes she has my initials) said to someone "Mark's band is playing at such and such." and I wrote her and said "I saw your post. Mark is still playing?" It turns out Mark isnot only still playing (he played guitar in High School and had a band and so on) - and he was good) he is in a major band. Like they toured with Metallica major. Not being a metal fan I didn't know who they were but went and looked at the website and downloaded a clip of them playing on the Conan O'Brien Show and wow - in the clip they are obviously professional and big time but look like anybody else. Read the web site and they are intelligent, articulate artists (a statement not in anyway meant to insult anybody else) and it was all so neat to read about.
And of course it got me into a funk. Because Mark chased it down and is living his music and I have never reconciled with myself that I have not. I sold out.
I was always smart, artistic, and kind of pretty. I was always "full of potential." And to date I haven't done anything with all that potential. And it always pisses me off when I look at myself and face that. As much as anything I get pissed because I never really figured out what it was I was supposed to be chasing... the artist? the writer? the martial artist? the research? the what? I never committed to anything.
And then I got married.
And every frickin time something comes along that grabs my interest SAP Geek has to foul it up just enough to make sure I will choose him. Well crap - I have 5 kids and I cannot afford the mortgage. I am definitely choosing him for the next 16 years.
And while I'm putzing around in my grouchy mood he starts complaining that the house is a mess. The house is always a damn mess. I am not a house keeper. I hate keeping house. I would rather shovel manure.
and I am reminded of Glenn Close in "101 Dalmations" when she says to Anita "More good women have been lost to marriage and children than in all the wars and famines put together." Or something like that. I thought that was hysterically funny in college. I had no intention of getting married any time soon.
I graduated in 1994 and was married in 1996 and for the life of me I'm still not exactly sure why.

Family Shmamily

So... this here is a vent about my Auntie C. Auntie C. married my Uncle Blue in the 80's on my brother's birthday. We had to travel home from Spain for the wedding which puts me at about 4th grade at the time. So lets say I was 9.

background:
My Uncle Blue is my Daddy's youngest brother - Daddy got married early and Uncle Blue is maybe 4, maybe 6 years younger than Daddy. Not sure. Auntie C is 12 years older than me. Didn't know her much until Daddy died. Daddy died in 1986. Uncle Blue is my godfather - it says so on my baptismal certificate; I doubt he remembers. I cannot remember anything godfather-ish he has ever done.

Uncle Blue and Auntie C live in this town that I live in. We moved her a year after Daddy's death.

I was at a Preschool meeting (actually that damn auction I've written about once or twice) and Amy is drinking wine and working away on tags and suddenly looks up and says "There was a neighborhood block party two weeks ago. I saw your Auntie C. I said hi and then when I mentioned that I know you she actually turned around and walked away."
A few other ladies in the room look up. I cough on my wine and say "really?" and Amy says, "yeah really. I thought it was a little odd."
I can not help myself and I actually start laughing.
"Yes I say. Odd is a good word. It is all that 'family stuff.' My sister got married this summer and her reception coincided with the family reunion that Uncle Blue had planned. Uncle Blue wouldn't move it a bit. So my sister had her reception on a Friday and Uncle Blue and gang left the state on that Friday to drive to the family reunion in PA. We know because he came to my house for dinner on Thursday. Auntie C didn't come because she was at a self defense class. It has been a little weird since then."

I think I should write a book about these people. I could use actual facts and if they tried to sue me for libel I'd tell them they have to prove they are who I say they are and the publicity would be huge - never mind the chance to let the world know what creeps I'm 'related to.' I always remind Auntie C that I was "born in" and she married in and I've been here longer.

Caught with my pants down... So to speak

Okay -
I live in one of those hoity toity neighborhoods (I KNOW you never would have guessed!) where there are ridiculously over sized houses with fancy furniture and never a child's toy out of place or dog fur on the floor. I am the "token interesting person" there is always dog fur on everything; my kids, bless them, leave a trail everywhere they go, there is a mountain of school papers and artwork permanently attached to the top of my kitchen counter and I myself am more often than not a bit of a mess. Today for instance I didn't shower. It was cold. We are barely heating our house due to the price of electric heat and it just didn't seem worth the bother.
My size two, blonde ponytailed neighbor, wife to the soccer hottie I had a crush on in High School, showed up at the door unannounced: big pot of scraps for the compost heap sitting on the counter, glass of wine from last night (another story) coffee mugs, the two year old has scattered all her baby accessories (toy bibs, toy bottles, toy baby clothes) the three year old has markers on everything and I've got a yard of fleece on the table with a pattern half pinned...
The trophy wife is gracious as ever but still. Damn it. I hate looking like such a mess all the time!

Main Street BLues

Me Too.

So... SAP Geek didn't get a big contract he was really hoping to land.  He was one more sales pitch to offer the last current bite on his fishing line and that is the end of his list.  He is already talking with his partners who will get laid off first and what the order will be.  He is sick about it and loosing serious sleep.  

It seems we are in good company:

CNN Money

9 or so...

So I ought to go count up days but I'm writing already so I'm just going to have to guess...

9 I think...

I read in Cookie Magazine - which I am not sure why I get btw, it just started showing up one day - all sorts of sad statistics regarding married couples and their sex life after children.  Hmmm... very sad.  The good thing is that I realize while my husband would claim that there is no such thing as enough sex, for the amount of days he is actually in the same state I am in, he is doing very well.  

But at some point in the article the writer challenged the readers to a week of sex every night.  I actually laughed out loud.  This is a challenge???  So I wrote my dearest an email (he was out of state - shocker) and let him know that we'd been challenged.  He is a competitive kind of guy and he was traveling home that night.  I don't think I have ever received so many phone calls and emails from him though.  He was quite anxious to verify that he had read his email correctly and I was asking him for 7 consecutive days of sex.  He was very interested in all the statistics in the article.  He was even more interested in the two couples who committed to a year of sex every night and wrote books about them.  

I put the kids to bed, dug up some old hot pink lacy thing with a thong and covered it up with an equally old black silk robe and set to work cleaning up the kitchen.

He came in and gave me a kiss and I sent him off to A.) shave and B.) do something about the hamburger and onion I could smell on his breath.  UGH!  He complied with both requests and that was night one.

Night two I had a school meeting that ran until almost 11 o'clock.  I got home at 11:30 and ran into the house... he had candles in the bed room and a bottle of wine and glasses waiting but never mind that - we had 30 minutes to meet our second day of the challenge.

And we did meet the week challenge and it was fun and the sex did add a closeness and flirtatiousness that has been lacking over the last few years.  But somehow Halloween and an October 29th Birthday and a November 1st Birthday and general fatigue of the busy life of parents of small kids took over and we sort of fell off the bandwagon.  I mentioned it to him today at work and he has decided that we are starting over and going for the full 365.  Uh huh.  He is working late tonight and then the next out of town trip is just around the corner.  

So what can I say?  A week was fun, and I recommend it.  And I think it is funny that the person who was too tired and too busy wasn't me :-)

More Politics

more politics - only one more and then I will move on - I promise.  Well, maybe I don't promise, but I will try. *wink*

I saw this on twitter today.

It is on the abortion issue:

video with the words of both candidates

Both seem a bit extreme.

I don't believe an unwanted pregnancy quite deserves the term "pregnancy as punishment" and as an adoptive mom I've got some pretty strong feelings about that.

However, I do believe in allowances for extreme cases.  Health risks (which needs a bit more definition), cases of abuse.  And I strongly believe that this country seriously lacks support for pregnant woman who choose to go to term and place their child.  WHERE are they supposed to go?  That is something I hope to tackle when all my kids are in school.  In the meantime... well... they both seem extreme.  But I do believe "infanticide" is the right word here.  

Oh, and I'd like to note that at least one of them, is willing to go on record with his belief.  Right or wrong, he will state it in plain English so you know what it is.  I like that in a person.

Politics -

Okay - truthfully Sarah Palin kind of does freak me out a little, although she seems like she is smart enough to stick to what she knows and seek help in the areas where she is a little shaky.  But Palin aside... I have Republican tendencies.  Somehow this shocks the heck out of people I know.  It does?  Yes, it does.  Something about my being an artist makes me a candidate for being a Democrat.  Apparently so does my innate femaleness.  (umm... how many Republican FEMALES are in the House and Senate?)  And so does my five kids. It does?  And then there is the transracial adoption thing that so makes me a democrat.  Really.  Somehow my republicanism just surprises (and inevitably disappoints) everybody.

But I really am not sure why this makes me evil or delusional.

Hello people.

My husband owns a small business.  He employs less than 100 people.  This is small.  Big business is General Motors or Coca Cola.  We are small.  Tiny. Microscopic.  And YET... the whole tax those making over 250K well, based on the legality of an LLC, that would be my husband.  Yeah, I know.  Nice to be me right?  

Well, kinda.  Except it is actually cheaper for my family to have catastrophic medical insurance than it is to have a normal family plan.  We can't afford a family plan.  So to require my husband's business to provide medical insurance to each employee without REQUIRING the INSURANCE COMPANY to make it affordable is insane.  Think about this for a minute, a guy who falls into the 250K bracket because of how an LLC is taxed paid out of pocket prenatal and hospital maternity bills because it is MORE AFFORDABLE than family insurance as a business owner.  

Luckily I pull off a vaginal delivery fairly well so our bills were low.

While not all small business owners treat people the way my husband does, I have to say, I get really really sick of the "entitlement" mentality of the people who work for him as well as others I meet.  My husband works nearly 7 days a week on his business.  All kinds of crazy hours.  His kids sacrifice a LOT.  When ever there is a cash flow shortage he shorts himself.  His employees all get paid first.  I cannot tell you how many times, and this year it has been basically all year, that he pays himself enough to cover the mortgage on the house and our utilities.  A guy who falls in the 250K bracket because he owns an LLC hasn't allowed his kids to use the air conditioning this summer because the electric bills are too high since the price of electricity has doubled.

So that is all I am gonna say about the 250K thing.  

As far as the rest of it.  If you read your History, the more Roosevelt and Hoover tried to mess with the countries economics, the bigger the mess became.  People were spending money they did not have.  Sure, you can "blame it all on wall street greed" but seriously people.  Almost EVERYBODY I KNOW has been living beyond their means since college graduation.  Nice houses, nicer cars, the clothes people buy for their kids OMG!  If the kids raised in the 80's and 90's actually got their credit cards under control than there would be fewer house issues, and the SUVs don't get me started.  I've been saying since 1989 that unless you actually live in the Mountains you don't need an SUV - and the suburban housewives who drive them to soccer practice drive me nuts.  A minivan may not be sexy but it doesn't gussle gas and it fits all the kids and it gets the job done people.  

So sure, Wall Street maybe greedy, but Main Street is just as bad in my opinion.  Don't bail out Wall Street, don't bail out Main Street.  If you are paying your mortgage it should be safe (my grandfather's father lost his house to his bank - and his mortgage was almost paid OFF and he'd been paying it.  But the bank failed and recalled all loans.  Now that sucks.  I'm not advocating that at all.)  But this whole tax credit that is looking suspiciously like a government welfare check.  Sorry not getting it. 

 And you are telling me that not only can I not buy my kids Christmas presents this year but that I have to foot the bill for 95% of the nation's tax cut, because of how an LLC gets set up?  And that voting Republican makes me evil?

Look wench, I hope your man does win.  And I hope you go down with me.

I'm sick of High School antics

I don't get it.  I really don't.  And I don't know WHY it bothers me SO friggin much.  It has been three weeks now.  THREE WEEKS and I'm still wondering what the heck I ever did to A.H. to make her be so friggin rude to me?  And to A.A. who has known me since back in the days of psycho step dad and some other weird stuff.  And then there is just M.L. who is stiff and socially inept and to whom I am always pleasant and who hangs with A.H. and WHATEVER!  Go away people.  

Ugh.

I am stuck bumping into these girls at all sorts of places.  I see them at preschool.  I see them at church.  I have tried, unsuccessfully to go to church elsewhere.  Because of them.  Because of Mr. A. who tries to run the place.  Because of my in-laws who know everybody and are into my business all the time.  Nothing like being IN CHURCH and hearing your mother-in-law say to another woman in the building that she was on the vacation with her son when you got pregnant with number 4 and the kids were in her hotel room and she thought "they just needed to catch up on their sleep" they meaning your husband and yourself.  Nice.

But them aside... it frustrates me that A.H. only looks at me when necessary.  That she only speaks to me when necessary.  She is so sweetly nice to my husband.  What did I do to her?  Yes, when I met her she already knew SAP Geek, but she was also already MARRIED.  So not like I stepped in where I should not have.  And A.A. I'm over.  Really and truly over.  We've bought her art work.  We've been supportive and pleasant.  I've made her dinners when her kids were born.  I've asked nothing of her ever.  

So girls, go drink the cool-aid.  Gloves are off.  I'll be as big a witch as I feel like being.

And by the way, I'm prettier than you are too.

money money money

Ah so.

I am needing to find a mode of employment.

My life as a spoiled brat has come to a screeching halt.

Not that there have not been warning signs along the way, yes I saw them, *YAWN* but reality has hit.  My husband, about whom I complain a lot here but in reality he is a great guy who works his butt off, had let me know that it will likely take 3 years for us to pull out of this rough spot.  3 years.  I was hoping he'd say something like 3 months.  ARGH!

Did I mention that for the first time ever in my life we have been invited to a "society event'

one of the girls from the consulting network is getting married.  It is a 3 day event in NYC.  Seriously.  Pre- kid me would have a shopping extravaganza to prepare!  You need a day bag, an evening bag, a day outfit and an evening outfit for each day PLUS accessories!!! OMG!  Shopping heaven.  Except no.  There is a credit crunch.  The business has been operating negatively for two quarters and probably will continue to do so this quarter and if the stock market keeps crashing that means out clients will continue to be nervous.... NO!  So my dear husband will go to NY and hobnob with his business contacts and I will stay home and wipe butts and mop floors because I have nothing to wear.  The agony!!!

I need a friggin job.  MMM HHMMM.  Did I mention I have no skills? nada. zip. I make a great receptionist front desk girl but that doesn't pay enough for day care so there is no point.  

agony.

Women - honestly

Somehow, not sure how but somehow, I ended up on the preschool auction committee this year.  I have to admit, our preschool is one of two in the area that give scholarships/financial aid to families in need and that is pretty cool.  And this is funded by the auction committee.  But somehow this year it is turning into drama fest.

Last year's auction chair and this year's auction chair do not get along.

Lovely.

Neither one of them is doing the best job following up on stuff.

And so somehow we dropped the ball on the class art projects.  The class art projects were started way back when as a cute and sentimental thing and have turned into a ridiculous expenditure of time, talent and sometimes money and they maybe fetch $100.00 at auction.  There are several parents of preschoolers who are artists who get recruited to paint on something and then finger prints or hand prints are added to give the parent an over priced sentimental item that their kid "made."  I'm much more into giving the class a tube of paint each and letting them go "Jackson Pollack" on a table than having an adult paint it and "allow" the kids to put a finger print or two on it.  Just too cheesy for me but whatever.

Apparently last year the auction chair got the artists together for drinks and they brainstormed ideas and decided as a group who was doing what.  This year we just handed out assignments. 

I was told today - that our artists are feeling taken for granted.

I need to put my day into perspective.

This morning I got up at 5 and took the dog for a run.  I got the boys up at 7 Am for breakfast and my 10 yr old daughter told me she didn't feel well.  Took her temperature, 100.4.  yeah, go back to bed kid.  Got the three year old up fed and dressed and the 23 month old.  Boys on bus at 8 am, in car at 8:30 Am.  Three year old to preschool at 9 AM.  Got to "Mother's day out" at 9:15 with 23 month old.  It is my day to stay and be snack mom.  At around 10 Am one of the kids starts screaming.  screaming.  Something is very wrong.  She is hysterical.  The teachers try to carry, comfort and appease this child.  nada.  FINALLY they call her mother.  Mother arrives around 11:30.  I wanted to scream "where the HELL have you been???"  Finish up at Mother's day out at 12 and return to preschool to collect my 3 year old.  We have a picnic lunch on the play ground until 1 PM when the afternoon class arrives.  We troop inside with the after noon class and I set up the class craft project for Mrs. O's class.  I spend an hour painting on kid's hands and getting their hand prints on a 36" square to be used in the class quilt.  During this time I am told that our artists are feeling neglected.  I want to scream.

I do not have time or patience for prima donnas.  Seriously.  I do not.

So I need to lay off

I fI am not careful this is going to become "Kitty's grievance blog against the husband."  Which would be a drag. 

and so despite the fact that I am irritated as hell with him, I shall attempt to blog about something else.

So... I have somehow landed the lovely job of being on the Auction Committee this year for the Preschool.  And on top of that, being the class art projects person.  I've done art projects for the auction about 4 years ago (?) My now almost 8 year old son was then... one or two... so I guess it was 6 years ago.  

Anyway - last time I did it the Auction Chair at the time pretty much said "we've agreed on quilt, pieced for 4 year old classes but not pieces for other classes... we want handprints of each kid... due date is such and such..'GO' " and that was that.  This year L- won't let it go so I'm doing everything on her time line and I'm about to combust here.

I have yet to finish unpacking from the spring's adventures

I have to organize school papers

I need to read the books on dyslexia and study the law a bit

I need to get my business back up and running 

AND INSTEAD I am quilting and painting and trying to write

there are not enough hours in the day - there are def. not enough hours without the 2 year old helping or destroying the whole thing

Discoveries... Testing is required by LAW!

So I am feeling rather pleased with myself and generally "bad assed" just now.

Back- up

I have a child in 5th grade.  Her second grade teacher, her third grade teacher and the reading specialists have all suggested to me that the child be tested for learning disabilities.  Her father reacted violently to the suggestion and so I let it lie.  I figured I'd come back to it.  Well, he has finally wrapped his head around it and I've requested that the child be tested.  So on Monday we had a "child study" meeting.  The teachers all agree she should be tested, the Vice Principle is looking at the kids SOLs and telling me the kid is functioning well.  The Special Ed lady either doesn't want the extra work or is worried about her budget and if the kid is functioning and not causing issues for the school then let her be.  I am so friggin naive.  I thought they were there to help me.  I thought they were there to HELP THE CHILD.  Apparently not.

So I've been stewing on it.  I called the state board.  I can ask for mediation which is free but voluntary so both the school and I have to agree.  I can file a due process report which is basically like going to court.

I looked up the National Center for Learning Disabilities, clicked on local stuff and started calling numbers.  I just got off the phone with someone at "Discoveries" in Newport News Virginia who assured me that if I want to have the child tested for Special Ed/Learning Disabilities it is my legal right to have the child tested.  Apparently I want to speak to the director who will tell me the proper procedure.  The director is in Alabama at the moment.  

I am so relieved.

So I am to talk to the director on Monday and we will see if my relief lasts for any amount of time... but just being told "Yes, you didn't make it up.  The law says they have to test her."  That is huge.  I think I'm going to go cry and then I need to clean up the arts and crafts mess I made with the preschooler...

so a friend of mine

so a friend of mine needs all the help she can get just now...

 she has been a voice for persons with skin issues for a while now and someone is trying to take advantage of her and her readers...

so please note; my friend Cailin has moved

http://cmyarbonne.blogspot.com is no longer "MY PRETTY FACE ~ ARBONNE AND PSORIASIS" 

instead:

Cailin continues to offer a voice to persons with psoriasis on:

http://facepretty.blogspot.com and she continues to sell Arbonne

It's been a few days... weeks...

What can I say?  Been busy.  Little access to the computer.  Not enough time.  Whatever.

I was just putting the almost two year old down for a nap - the three year old suggested we all nap together which in theory is great except 'small one' has never quite gotten the social sleeping thing.  So after getting to "almost  asleep" three times and being jarred out of it by Small One, Small One is now in the crib hollering.  As I was leaving Small One, and pass by the still dark fish tank and fed the fish, for some reason my brain jumped to an issue with Beefcake.  Beefcake works with SAP Geek (I think that is what I named my husband... okay dork that I am I just checked and yep, that is him)  SAP Geek owns the damn company - Beefcake agreed to hold a position in exchange for an ownership % has gone back on his agreement and still has his %.  Beefcake like to throw his % around and let everybody know... Beefcake doesn't want any risk, appears to work when he feels like it, keeps all the sales contact info for himself and somehow he manages to sell SAP Geek on the idea that Beefcake is indispensable.  Beefcake is working with a bunch of CaliTechies on a project that is going nowhere fast.  I do not understand why I am on this crazy, insane, tight budget so that SAP Geek's salary can fund the company's expansion when Beefcake gets to ride along.  Beefcake and the CaliTechies need to go away.  Far away.  They need to get hung out to dry now, before anymore banks close, any more mortgage companies get bought, and things get worse.  Because I am a smart enough girl and I'm reading enough articles, posts and blogs by people way smarter than me to see the writing on the wall.  It is going to get worse.  Possibly way worse, before it gets better.  And I'm not up for carrying any dead wood.

So, if you are kind enough to read my ramblings and you have any ideas as to how I might extricate SAP Geek from Beefcakes BS please tell.  I need all the help I can get on this one.

My husband thinks it is all about him...

My husband thinks it is all about him and it really drives me up the wall. I got a phone call this morning, at 8 something. I was in from helping the school aged kids catch the bus, changing the 22 month old and negotiating fashion sense with the 3 1/2 year old (I lost) and he leaves a message. "K- if you get this please call me back." I DESPISE these kinds of messages. I mean come on, you sound like high school drama queen calling to tell me you broke a nail and the manicure place stopped stocking your favorite color pink...
But who knows, maybe something really did happen that I need to know about. I use this rational every time he leaves that message. And I call him back at 9:05 AM. He tells me that the contract he is supposed to start in two weeks just sent him a message that they are canceling the release and won't need him. He sounds like somebody just died. And all I can think is, 'sorry babe, you are a consultant. This is the risk you take." I've been living this roller coaster for 11 years. I've been a damn good sport. But don't interrupt my day to tell me this - there is nothing I can do and nothing I can say and you are mad because in between your earth shattering bad news I am speaking to the previously mentioned small people currently running around my kitchen and fighting amongst themselves and with the dog. And somehow my lack of ability to focus soley on you makes you feel not quite validated in your bad mood funk and what can I say? I cannot fix this. You choose this life. It isn't personal. You are not supposed to take it personal but you do, every friggin time, you do. Get over yourself. And get back to work, you have 6 mouths to feed besides your own. I swear, I am getting a high powered High Paying job as soon as 22 month old hits kindergarten. I don't know what it will be, but "wife of consultant" does not pay enough and the risk factor is giving us all ulcers.

Teachers

My mother in law is a teacher. So is a certain Mr. A who thinks he runs our church. I notice that they both speak to me with the same pattern. They are aloof, "Oh hi, How can I help you," or "What can I do for you" kind of greeting on the phone (I mean hello my mother in law identifies her self when she calls me and I don't reply with a polite version of "what do you want" I figure she'll get to that on her own) and when they do want me to do something they ask very politely. Usually it is a message on my answering machine because I rarely answer the phone (that isn't just them, I rarely answer it period.) and so I think it over. But if I don't think it over fast enough they call back with this very teacher voice. Nice, but commanding/demanding, requiring I get back to them or they are going to have to mark it as a zero, voice. Which of course makes me just not want to answer them at all. I mean, the little rebel who never was jumps out and yells "NO! and YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
Grrr....
It is a shame. Teachers should be the most revered people on the planet. And I have a few who I really do hold in very high esteem. But only a few. And I rarely like the grownups that I know who teach. They are so... I don't know. So something. So LISA! You are special, 'cause I like you.

I'm allowed to be mad

Okay, so I need to name my husband something...
I like how in Sex and the City the guys don't have names, they just have identities. So I'm guessing SAP Geek ought to be my husband's identity...
I'll go with that for now...
so anyway
SAP Geek - to whom I am married on the weekend because he travels all week - was irritated this afternoon because I was grouchy. I was grouchy for a list of small reasons each of which is insignificant but added together they grew into reason enough for this female to be a bit grouchy. He was mad at me for being grouchy.
Traditionally SAP Geek feels it is his purgative to be as nasty as he wishes until he is done being nasty and then to suddenly be better without any transition, apology, blah blah blah. So not the "lets talk" of the female way...
We did a bit of back and forth today... he fine but pissing me off... me fine but pissing him off... yadada and so on...
finally after dinner I poured myself a lovely glass of 1 oz Orange something or other inherited from his grandmother, added 2 oz of vodka and filled the rest of the tumbler with diet coke. I was folding laundry and he sat down with his beer and I looked at him and recapped the day:
"So, as I understand it, you were mad at me for being cranky. I left to run errands and came home fine but you were still ticked and giving me the cold shoulder. You left as I was serving dinner to assert your independence/indifference which ticked me off. Then you dug up the ugly weed in the yard so we could bury the dog which allowed for redemption but you chopped my head off when I wanted to put this dead dog by the other dead dog to avoid the pet cemetery look that is happening in my front yard. So now I'm confused, are you speaking to me or not?"
To which he answered
"Well that depends are you sorry?" but he was smart enough to laugh as he said it.
I answered, "No I'm not sorry! I'll be in a bad mood if I want to! And further more, Mr. Control Yourself, control your own damn self before you go yelling at me for being in a bad mood."
Like I said, he was smart enough to laugh, and laughing he said "I just don't hear the remorse."
To which I answered, "Ya think cowboy? There ain't no remorse."
But it seems we are friends again which is nice since he'll be leaving the house at 4 AM to catch a flight West to a client.

Hot Blogger Calendar...

seriously
this is silly
I am so not into things like this. But because I can, and because it won't get me "into trouble" I nominated Wess. Because he is hot in a wonderfully un-teen magazine kinda way. A.) he is wicked smart and maybe I'm a dork or a geek or a nerd but smart is sexy. Way back in 7th grade I decided there was no dating boys I deemed "dumber than me" - which basically cut out the entire 7th grade but that is besides the point. B.) the man has muscles (not that I noticed or anything) C.) he is funny D.) he has got eyes that put him in Johnny Depp class
so yeah, if someone actually is trying to keep track of such things, he should qualify as "hot blogger"

so really there is a contest..
http://hotbloggercalendar.com/

and this here is my nominee
http://wesstobler.vox.com/

To begin...

It was suggested to me when I was bemoaning the fact that my mother, husband, the evil wife of my husband's business partner (perhaps - PLEASE GOD! soon to be ex-business partner) and others read my blog - which is all very flattering except I find myself censoring... it would seem that the issue (for me anyways) is that with a public journal I am going to get myself and possibly others in trouble. I mean - if the (I hope soon to be ex) partner's wife reads the blog and realizes I am talking about her husband - then there are consequences for my husband and the business and the tide pool spreads. So... I censor... and what fun is there in that???
And so this is the anonymous blog... and there will be no pictures of children... and no real names... and I can snark away.
Yay me.